I’ve shared this a lot in the last week. But I feel it needs to be shared again simply because it is such a powerful thing for me and a great exercise for just about anyone.
The last couple weeks have been rather lonely for me. I’m single and it’s the holidays…and I’m single. It’s also been a long time since I’ve been touched; and human beings need to be touched. Hugs from friends and family as well as massages are all wonderful things, it’s true, but not the same as being held by a man whom I love and who loves me. I miss that. My head tells me stories that I’ll always be alone, that none of my relationships will ever work out, that I’m a lost cause…
Every now and then when the thought occurs to me I do this exercise which I’m about to share with you all. I’ll share with you the way I prefer to do it, but you are more than welcome to modify to your own comfort level. I have many friends who do similar exercises but not the exact same. To each his own.
I take baths by candlelight as I imagine many women do or I shower in the dark. Both calm me down and give me peace of mind. It’s quite interesting to experience the dark shower when I’m in a discombobulated frame of mind – I notice how much I’ll knock over the shampoo or send the shaving cream flying off somewhere; yet, when I’m in a more tranquil and content state of mind, I know exactly where everything is in my shower and have no problem finding my way around in the dark. Often, these two relaxing rituals result in spiritual experiences for me as my head is able to let go of thinking so much! Occasionally, the thought strikes me to tell myself that I love myself. I don’t just say it out loud – I feel it. No, this is not a sexual escapade I’m about to divulge – sex and love are two entirely different things and this exercise is about love.
I take my hands, tell them I love them and give them each a kiss – as though they are being blessed. I then proceed to touch different parts of my body with them as I say, “I love you.” I say, “I love you,” until it really sinks in. Sometimes it hits home on the first try; sometimes I need to repeat it for a bit. I touch my shoulder, my neck, my face, my toes…
I get out of my own way and let that Source Energy (some may call it God, The Universe, Creator, Buddha…) use my physical body to emanate It’s Love. I often find myself in heaving sobs when I reach certain parts of my body. For instance, if I’m at a point in my life where I’m in a negative mindset about my weight/what I look like in the mirror, when I get to my stomach I burst into tears. Or if I’m in a place where I feel like I’m not speaking my Truth in life, when I touch my throat the flood gates open.
Each time I do this exercise, I feel relieved and so loved all over again. It’s quite miraculous actually. While I’m quite sure you could do this with clothes on, I feel like there is just something to be said for skin-on-skin (in the same way something can be said for taking a pen to paper – I write all my posts out on paper before typing, by the way). And the bit about the shower or bath… I think this experience is much better (for me, at least) in the water for a couple reasons. 1) I feel like when I’m in the dark like I described above it’s almost like being back in the womb where everything was safe, nothing mattered but being nurtured and taken care of. It’s one of the safest feelings. 2) Water has always been my safe place. It’s the place I feel free and my life flows endlessly with each drop. For me, there is no better place to do this exercise as the flow of water supports my new flow of life.
When I’m ready, I then stay in gratitude for the experience and go about the rest of my night.
I hope this helps you with whatever you’re going through. I’d love to hear your feedback on what you get out of this!