I feel like I’ve been forgetting why I started Make Your Mistake in the first place. I started it to share my experiences with the world – be they good or bad. For a while now, I’ve been telling myself that people don’t really care what is going on with me because…well, how does that pertain to them? After some good, long thinking (about 5 or 6 months’ worth), I’m telling my brain to eff off and letting you know what’s been going on with me anyway.
For those of you just now tuning it, I’ve been in a 12-step recovery program for sex for a year-and-a-half. As mentioned above, I’ve been debating for a long time now whether to continue writing about this or not. Obviously, by writing about my experience, it no longer makes me anonymous. Then I thought about when I began this journey and wrote about it all the time. Do you know that during that time, one of my readers contacted me and is now one of my sobriety sisters? Her life has changed drastically for the best. (By the way, I can officially check off, “Truly change the life of another for the best,” from my bucket list.) While I remove my own anonymity, I give someone else the chance to heal herself (or himself). To me, that is a fair trade.
In the beginning of this program, I had so much to talk about and to let out. After this length of time, though, I find myself less caught up in the drama and scariness of it all.
The question I’ve been asking myself for the last 6 months is also, “What do ‘they’ want to read?” Then I tell myself “they” (you) don’t want to hear about my spiritual journey, the cutting out of drama from my life, the honesty with which I try to live at all times and so on. The thing of it is, if I write this based on what I think you want to read then I’ll lose me. I’ve lost myself too many times in my life. Luckily, this time I have a map and a compass and can get myself found again!
What do I want to tell you then?
I want to tell you something you’ll really hear. I want to tell you that one sentence, one paragraph or one phrase that will give you that Aha! moment; the moment that you’ll finally understand it all. I want to tell you that thing that will make you understand why everything that’s gone wrong in your life has been the way it’s supposed to be – that there is a reason. I want to tell you that even the things that have gone horribly wrong were the things that shaped you.
I want to tell you that you can always change the person you are into the person you want to become. I want to make you feel that you are the maker of all of your decisions and that no one can make them but you. You are the only one who can truly trap or free yourself.
When solutions seem too simple to possibly answer your problems, that’s because you’ve lived a life where complicated was always your answer. If you have a problem in the first place, it’s probably because you took a simple situation and complicated the hell out of it. Life is meant to be lived simply. That doesn’t make it easy…it just makes it less complicated.
Did you hear that?